Scars

I can see others
Get through
They laugh
They have love

If I try hard enough
Hold out long enough
Walk over enough coals
To the other side

This will get better
But in the midst of hell
You have only one desire
And that is to get out of it

Douse the heat with tears
Or alcohol (flammable)
You can step off for a moment
Until the ground shifts

You can’t stand standing
In narrow strips between pits
There is a door on the other side
People seem to make it out

But not everyone.
Some lay down
Some go back
Some stand, perpetual

 

-Copyright C.M. Mounts, January 2018

Small

To take small evidence
Explode it into full betrayal
This is the marker of an
Abused and bruised heart

Why did you say that?
What do you mean by that?

It confuses people
Who have never been
Conditioned to endure

Persistent disappointment
Persistent pressure
Persistent backhanded
Remarks and insults
Veiled as compliments

It germinates paranoia
You think
All people are this way
But they are not

There are kind people
There are loving people
They make innocent observations

It is your mind that translates
Words into hooks and swords
But you cannot help it
You are a patchwork of scars

 

-Copyright C.M. Mounts, January 2018

Boil

It starts out okay
Nice

Until the dissatisfaction
Creeps in
The boredom
The blame

You love so you try to fix it
There is no fixing it
They came broken

Only they can make
An unbroken self
Only personal healing

That takes time
Hard work
It is quicker,
Easier to blame others

So, the water felt fine
You got in
Not noticing the fire
Lit underneath

And slowly, slowly
What is abnormal
Becomes normal

Your definition of abuse
Becomes extreme
To support your denial
Denial of the abuse

You cannot face it
You cannot look
Look into the mirror

There is shame in
Tolerating it
Receiving it
Admitting it

So, as the world boils
Around you
When an old friend asks
“How are you?”

You respond
“I’m fine.”

 

-Copyright C.M. Mounts, October 2017